Please enjoy this blog coauthored by Monique Sever, Litigation Support & eDiscovery Supervisor, Harper Grey LLP and Adam Wehler, Director of eDiscovery and Litigation Technology, Smith Anderson (responses in Italics).
Let's face it, not everyone is a social butterfly. For some of us, the phrase "people person" feels like a distant dream rather than a reality. But that doesn't mean you can't be an effective manager and lead a successful team. In fact, with the right strategies and mindset, you might even find your unique perspective to be an asset.
In this blog post, we offer two perspectives. One from the introvert perspective and other from an extrovert perspective – an actual people person – where we can each learn from the other. Please note that we know that there are varying levels of a spectrum of introversion and extroversion. WE generally define an introvert as popular with Simon Sinek:
An Introvert: A person who begins the day with a bag of coins and each interpersonal interaction spends their coins. At the end of the day they feel drained as they have spent all of their coins.
An extrovert: A person who wakes up with no coins and every interaction gains them a coin and they feel fulfilled with each and every interaction.
For the non-people person, how do you approach and manage a successful team while juggling the responsibilities of being a supportive manager?
Self-awareness
First things first, acknowledge that you are not a people person.
This is not a flaw but a characteristic. Many successful managers are introverts or prefer working independently. The key is to understand your strengths and weaknesses and use them to your advantage.
Introverts often possess qualities that are crucial for effective leadership, such as deep thinking, focus, and empathy. Recognizing and harnessing these strengths can lead to exceptional management skills.
Personally, I often have to go away and think about the problem and sometimes that does lead to overthinking the problem, but it does help to solidify my thoughts. I’m terrified of getting it wrong because I care very deeply about my people.
A common misconception is that being a manager means doing everything yourself. In reality, effective delegation is a hallmark of successful leadership. Empower your team by trusting them with responsibilities and encouraging autonomy. Allowing them to take ownership and make decisions fosters a sense of responsibility and engagement.
Acknowledgement of your social style is key toward any manager. As a people person, I tend to lean into the same skills as above with empathy, focus and deep thinking. In knowing myself, I know how like to interact with my staff and learning how to be a better leader. I am one who likes to learn from others and thoroughly enjoy doing this in large groups/conferences.
I am a person who loves hearing many – and even conflicting—ideas when trying to learn to be a better leader which leads me to talk to many people.
Communication is key
You might not enjoy small talk or social gatherings, but clear and effective communication is non-negotiable. Ensure that your team knows what is expected of them, understand their roles, and feel comfortable coming to you with problems. Communicating effectively with your team directly impacts their success. Clear, concise, and transparent communication fosters trust and alignment.
If verbal communication isn't your strong suit, leverage written communication. Emails, memos, and project management tools can be incredibly effective in conveying your thoughts without the pressure of face-to-face interactions and allow you to thoughtfully convey your message without the stress of real-time reactions. Take advantage of this medium to ensure clarity and precision.
I could not agree more about how key communication is. I feel that there isn’t quite a substitute for in person (or if in person isn’t available zoom/teams) communication. In the age of generative AI responses to writing might lose personal touches that in person or verbal communication will never lose.
As we will talk about below, knowing your team is knowing how they will react or knowing when the words don’t match the real feelings. Communication is a skill that can improve just like writing and if you have the proper feelings behind your words they will never fall flat. And you will have a very quick and easy way to learn more about your team.
Further, one key is making sure that you can establish that your “door is always open”. Your team will hopefully be filled with diverse personalities and making sure the people feel can come and communicate with you is key.
Know your team
Building trust and rapport with your team doesn't necessarily mean you have to be their best friend. It's about showing that you care about their success and well-being.
Trust is the foundation of a successful team. As a manager, demonstrating reliability, honesty, and consistency is crucial in building this trust.
Knowing what drives each and every one of your teammates, and how they may change over the time of their employment, can be incredibly helpful.
Schedule regular one-on-one meetings to check in with your team members. These meetings don't have to be lengthy or overly formal but should serve as a touchpoint for you to understand their challenges and offer support. They are a valuable opportunity to connect with your team members on a personal level and address any concerns or feedback they may have. These one-on-one meetings can also serve to practice your verbal communication in a less stressful environment.
Encourage collaboration and teamwork, even if you're not the most outgoing person. Create opportunities for your team members to work together, share ideas, and build on each other's strengths. By fostering a culture of teamwork, you enable your team to leverage their collective strengths and achieve greater success.
As an introverted manager, recognizing and celebrating achievements can be hard, but you don't have to throw extravagant parties or give grand speeches to recognize your team's accomplishments. Simple, genuine acknowledgments can go a long way in boosting morale and motivation.
All of these perspectives are key for all leaders to follow and knowing your team will help your develop your communication style with each team member. Further, knowing your team will allow you to intentionally put them in places to succeed. I tend to like to leverage my soccer coaching experience when thinking in this way. You want to make sure each player on the pitch can communicate AND are in a position to feel empowered to make a decision with full support of the team.
Learning from your team and leveraging open communication will allow you to know how to best leverage your team to make everyone feel successful.
Addressing conflicts
The horror of all horrors for an introvert manager, dealing with conflicts not only between you as a manager but between people on your team, can send even the most long-time manager, scurrying back to their office.
Conflicts are inevitable in any team setting, but how they are addressed can make a significant difference.
As noted above, self-awareness is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and your team will depend on you to manage your own emotions and keep disruptive impulses under control. [Take a deep breath, no running away!]
As a manager, your actions set the tone for the team. Demonstrate the values and behaviors you expect from your team members. Leading with integrity, showing respect for others, and maintaining a strong work ethic will inspire and guide your team towards the desired culture and performance standards.
Use empathy not only to resolve issues but transform the relationship into one of trust and loyalty. This can create a win-win-win for your team and your organization.
One of the best ways to address any conflict or performance issue is to address it in the moment. People who are trying and are good workers screw up (we all do) and so they can be more aware communication cannot wait until review time. This can cause some heartache to any leader, as mentioned above, but team morale will depend on everyone know how they can get better.
Spending time getting to know your team will pay immense dividends here as you will know how to approach each teammate in what will be an uncomfortable moment. Further, developing this skill can then allow you to let your team members come to you when they feel you have screwed up. This information is even more valuable.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to management. Embrace your unique style, and don’t try to force yourself into a mold that does not fit. Authenticity is key.
Simon Sinek, author and motivational speaker, said: "Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge."
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